I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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