***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
