She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
