Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
