That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
