I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
