Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
