Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
