I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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