The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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