took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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