my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
