is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
