i just wanna soil my oats bro
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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