No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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