it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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