Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
