I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
