There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
