so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
