when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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