I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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