Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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