oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
