He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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