Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize