I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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