remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
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Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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