why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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