She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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