what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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