haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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