I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
