One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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