she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
