Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
