Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
