the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize