So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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