last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
