But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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