HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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