I think my vagina is haunted
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
