Someone shit on the floor
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
