My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She said her name was "party"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
