I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
