may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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