why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
