This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
