I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
