yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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