so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
