That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
