He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my sisters under your porch take her home
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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