The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
