Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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