I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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