HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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