Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
