I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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