i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
