just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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