Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
