And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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