Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
