where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
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When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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