Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
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My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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